ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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