He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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