i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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