need another drink. this is the easiest way
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Randomize
