umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
