I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
two words...techno handjob
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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