I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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