I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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