Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
