I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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