I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
