your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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