Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
