Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
50% drunk capacity currently
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
