He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
