Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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(315): View more from New York

I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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(972): View more from Texas

I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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(217): View more from Illinois

how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm two sheets to the sexual wind

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Welcome to adulthood.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.

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