I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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