This is not my ceiling
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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