I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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