Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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