we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
