you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
