I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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