So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
