I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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