We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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