Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
