So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
