i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
