Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
