Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
