He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
