he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
