my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
