so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize