What a fucking waste of an outfit
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
