would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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