So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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