dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
