I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize