I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
