We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize