He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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