My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
