I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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