you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
