He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The air was thick with penises
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
