What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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