Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize