i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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