Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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