it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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