I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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