Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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