you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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