I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What a dumb baby whore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
