We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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