this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
