She said her name was "party"
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize