So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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