Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize