We won't sleep together?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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