I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
