absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
