I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
