So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Your penis caused this!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
