I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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