Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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