I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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