we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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