dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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