hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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