Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
