Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
